self image in progress 🫦

Hi boo!! Thanks for being here again, I’m so grateful for you! Have you ever heard anyone say “you’re supposed to talk to yourself like you would a best friend”? As in we should absolutely not talk down on ourselves and when you catch yourself doing it, change the narrative as if you were talking to your bestie.. Like when you’re looking in the mirror and not having the best body or self image day, and your intrusive thoughts come in to tear you down, but if your best friend said to you I’m having a bad body image day, you would hype them the fk up right??? Ok so we’re doing that to ourselves from here on out! I’ve had this in my mind for the last year and I actively & consciously catch myself when the unwanted thoughts come in so I can switch it up to “you are beautiful no matter what” or “sis you are beyond capable of creating that - you have the power of the stars in your hands” and that’s made a huge difference in my life. The point of me sharing this was simply because I started this post with “hi boo” and I just wanted to tell you that that’s how I talk to myself on a daily basis but, the whole rest of that thought just came out with it hahahahahahah I can’t with myself - this is what these are going to be like, me just sputtering words as they come through but hey I'm just a stream on consciousness channeling information and I really do hope you get value in it 🥹

But perhaps since we’re on the topic of body and self image - let’s dive into THAT because it’s a fkn juuuuuiiiiccy one and quite honestly it’s been one of the biggest themes in my life that I have had to do the most work in healing, and I am by no means “healed” in it because I’m not sure yet if you ever fully heal, as if it's a destination? no I don’t think so right.. or maybe certain things you do, I don’t know I'll explore that one more but anyway.. I AM however deep into the work of healing my self image and providing love to this beautiful little vessel that carries me around with such ease, and that feels really darn good because it’s been something in the forefront of my mind for as long as I can remember. I shared a post on my instagram back in the summer touching on this, because I think it’s something so relevant and real and I want to provide a space where others don’t feel so alone in it 🫶🏼

I remember sitting cross legged in my early elementary school days being self conscious of my thighs, because they seemed bigger than other girls… I wore full coverage swimmies to pool parties because I didn’t feel confident in bikinis… I have a vivid memory when I was 10 or 12, jumping to reach a tree branch that was a lil too high for me and my nana yelled from the patio “heavy load to lift dear!!”...... hear me when I say I have peace and love in my heart for her but are you joking me 🥲 Making comments about anyone’s body at any age is simply unnecessary but the young impressionable, insecure kiddos… that impact hits DEEP. Then I started getting into running and shed a bunch of weight before grade 8 and people started to say things like “wow sarah you glowed up” and “you look so good!!!” so of course that took up space in my mind with the narrative of “I receive praise when I’m small.” Unfortunately I carried that into high school and university and struggled to find a healthy balance with my nutrition and lifestyle, even though I’ve always been so passionate about the holistic side of wellness and knew it was beyond important.. but diet culture, society and social media makes it really challenging to navigate what feels right for you, which is what we should mostly be following because lifestyle is really not a one size fits all kinda thing! I struggled with bulimia for a few years, punishing myself if I felt I ate too much, and limiting myself to where I wasn’t eating enough. A vicious and super not sexy lil cycle that I think is unfortunately not that uncommon for gals and pals in their teens/early 20s to go through, but if I’m being honest… I’m grateful in the ways that I tested myself so that I could learn what it is that I needed the hard way because I honestly think it’s made me value my health so much more than if it had just come easy to me. I’m not sorry if that’s triggering - I obviously don’t wish for others to go through it, I just know I personally wouldn’t be where I am if I hadn’t. 

I give a lot of credit to Arbonne’s 30 Days to Healthy Living Program because it showed me what a balanced and sustainable lifestyle looks like in a very simple and convenient way. And if you know me at all, simplicity is my FAV thing in the world so that really made big shifts for me. Fuelling my body with whole foods, eating enough and making time for intuitive movement (hmm I’m thinking more on this one later!!) was all I needed to focus on and to be honest, grocery shopping is also one of my fav things in the world so I really don’t have a hard time buying myself cutie things I just continue to work on actually eating them lol.. There is a beautiful balance between maintaining wellness that supports your body in thriving on a cellular level - literally everything you consume helps or harms your cells, but it’s really important to also find joy in food and allow yourself to eat the things that make you happy because we just need as much joy in our lives as possible. Focus on the 80/20 rule as best you can, 80% of the time you’re eating clean whole foods that nourish you, and the other 20% is for indulging in chocolate covered almonds and ice cream and idk, whatever you love that simply can’t be replicated in a healthy way hahaha!! (most things can though sorry eeeek healthy is sexy)

In terms of the way I actually see myself, like when I look in the mirror and really pay attention to what’s there.. It’s taken me a lot of energy, conscious rewiring, time just standing looking at myself, and a lot of support from one particular soul who’s shown me more than anything else how easy it should be to love the body I live in. Just one of the many things they’ve supported me in healing and I’m endlessly grateful because to be in a place where I’m dancing around my studio naked, very confidently wearing bikinis and minimal clothing all summer, not overthinking every single thing I eat or being self conscious in intimacy is absolutely liberating 🥹 I still have my days and I'm forever a work in progress, but I’m so proud of every single past version of myself that’s gotten me to being the most comfortable in my own skin I’ve ever been. It requires a deep level of discipline, which I just see as the highest form of self love… as in how much do you love the future version of you to put in the work now for her? Or him? Which I'm also now seeing as devotion. If that looks like asking for help in your nutrition, your thought patterns or where to even start, do it!! Ask! The healthiest future version of you is depending on you to show up in the best way you can right now, so they can align along the way and the current version of you knows you absolutely can… just stop letting the silly goose thoughts that your brain has memorized up until now from taking over - you are so much more powerful than those patterns. Ouuuhhh for sure more on neurosciencey things later too that’s been so fun to learn about over the years. Wow I have a lot to share with you 🤭

As much as I feel I could chat on this for days, I’ll keep it at that for now and please for the love of HECK reach out to me if this resonates because I really love connecting with others in this space! By space I mean like the space the entire universe is taking up which is infinite, I love connecting with every ounce of it but also if you have had similar journeys or experiences or the desire to embody your sexy lil body - I wanna chat! 

Love ya, ya little minx

xx Sarah