rewiring for compassion and trust 🍯

Hi boo!!!! Cutie gloomy chilly Saturday morning and as I’m prepping to host a grounding/connection event down at the beach, I keep telling myself to share my thoughts on threads because I get random downloads all the time and to be honest sometimes I just need to put the effort in to write MORE.. I’m craving creating again which I find so entertaining the way creativity comes in waves and is inspired by the most mundane life experiences, it's precious really… the way a conversation with a friend sparks me needing to share insight I've gained, or if I watch a video or interview and people say things that have me questioning the subconscious so I share my thoughts on it, or when you’re in the shower or just listening to music and random information comes through. I absolutely love it and what I’m allowing myself to lean into right now is letting that completely random and unscheduled creativity come through and THEN bringing in my structure and “do” energy to channel it into a form that I can share... consistently. I’m really wanting to do more of the sharing part because if you’ve been watching me at all, I’m in a space where I’ve deeply rooted in the confidence and knowing of how incredible I am at what I do as an intuitive, a coach, a guide, a healer, whatever you wanna call it, so now I want to be able to make myself visible enough that those looking for me can find me. Which for a while I had the narrative that I’m not good at that part, and being the neurolinguistics lover and studier of semantics that I am, I rewired it to just “it's unfamiliar to me”... so the more I allow myself to be uncomfy and a beginner, the easier it is with no resistance between me trying to do it whilst simultaneously telling myself I'm not good at it???? That tiny bit of resistance will always outweigh whatever effort you’re putting into something hahahahah god I love humans. 

So last night I had a cutie catch up at Batch with a girlfriend and we dove into lots of juicy things and intimate chats about life, naturally lol.. And something at the end of our hang was being so pressed that I recognized how deeply that is probably sitting with her somewhere in her life if she’s asking me about it and so concerned for how I navigated it...OR she was genuinely curious idk. In a nutshell, she was asking over and over if I was worried about feeling embarrassed or dumb after an experience I went through where I was on a DEEP quest for truth and put my whole heart on display and had myself in a very vulnerable space to find clarity where I didn’t have it. And the version of me that navigated that experience versus the version of me now are vastly different because it allowed me to not only find clarity where I was seeking it but it expanded the hell out of my awareness and intuition and discernment in ways that I didn't expect or know about and so I never once for a second found myself going “ok I feel dumb for that or am embarrassed I did that” because I hold compassion for myself. I understand on a deep level the way the subconscious works and really just humans… how would I have known any differently if I hadn’t experienced it for myself to be able to recognize and then go “OH okay that makes sense, now I know, and now I can take that awareness and bring it to the next experience that calls on these parts of me.” Which brought back the awareness as I explained it to her that the reason people catch themselves in a guilt or shame spiral is not just the lack of self-compassion, but it will also show up if you’re someone who isn’t willing to deeply integrate the awareness you gain from new experiences…… OUUUUF.

I’m someone who is so deeply committed to expansion that as soon as I learn something or become more aware, I apply that knowledge. And whether it’s the simplest of things or something that requires me to stretch myself outside of what’s comfortable, I will do it because the other option is HAVING said awareness, and then repeating the same pattern whilst “knowing differently”... and that’s where you then go oh I actually did know better and I chose to stay in a place that keeps me stagnant rather than expanding and I simply will never choose to remain in a place that feels more comfortable but is really pseudo comfort because it’s very uncomfortable for me to keep repeating the same patterns and wonder what if I did something different to get an outcome that I would actually prefer. And then what I also recognize about this is that the fear comes in as “ok but if you do that then x could happen and we don’t want that”....however personally, I would so much rather do it anyway so I don't spend the rest of eternity wondering ‘what if’, and if my not preferred outcome does in fact come from my courage, I can be with that because the expression of bravery and courage will always take you way further than staying small and depressing whatever expansive thoughts you have, that actually have the ability to create entirely new worlds. I saw something the other day along the lines of how the universe will always favour those willing to be brave enough to challenge what they know in pursuit of what could be and it's SO inspiring because well, it’s true… hahah and just gives you permission to lean into the expansive thoughts rather than the constrictive ones that want to keep you safe and protected. But babe you are divinely protected so leap anyway and don't spend your life wondering what if you had just….fill in the blank… 

So no, I never feel embarrassed or dumb for being a fkn human, and I refuse to spend time shaming or guilting myself over things I didn’t have awareness to handle differently at the time becauuuuuuse I’m brave enough that whenever I’m given an opportunity to bring my new levels of awareness to similar situations, I don't think twice (that’s a lie I think lots about it but never enough to stop me lol) and I simply use the knowledge to create NEW outcomes. I know this sounds so simple and to be honest I feel it actually IS simple….it just takes doing the work to understand yourself and get intimate enough with the parts of yourself that fear what might happen if you do something different, whilst remembering that you are the creator so you will always be rewarded for your bravery AND, I’ll be the first to say that even if your actions are in pursuit of a certain outcome that you prefer, and that doesn't happen, you get to choose to believe that it's probably because there’s something greater coming through. If you’d prefer to stay a victim and defeated by life, that's totally fine, but I'm telling you when you rewire the thoughts that are constantly expecting things to go wrong and choose to believe it always works out, you will be proven right hehe!! Love you!!

xx Sarah