you don't owe anyone the context 🌶

Hi honey bears. I just had a wild revelation. Or like a timeline slip?? Time travel moment?! I was thinking about the concept I had in mind to blab about…. and went ok woah who am I writing this for?.....or who am I writing any of these for because usually what I write about are the experiences that I navigate to find ease and peace on the other side after moving through the MUD… and as I think about the girl moving through the mud I’m like, would she read these and immediately be like ok change course because I read something that makes more sense so let’s pivot... OR is it for the version of me and everyone else that exists between finding the ease and flow and then being able to share and express it. After I've integrated and lived from the space of having made a shift from a learned experience. What the fk is happening right now hahahaha ok let me explain my thoughts on this topic then I’ll tell you where I just went.

So you know how on social media there’s a lot of the trend “it’s a highlight reel on this app so here are some of my recent flops” and they go on to share like, I made a poor investment decision and now I have to fix it, or I’m 32 and I feel behind, or I launched something and nobody bought it, or I’m having a really bad body image day and I’m comparing myself to everyone I see on instagram….. Okay, YES….. all valid. 

And all WILLLLLLLDDDDDDLLLLYYYYYY human.

As I was thinking of writing on this I wondered how touchy it is because I never ever want to diminish peoples experiences but I DO want for everyone on the planet to remember their power and that’s always my intention so I’m not making this wrong at all, because again, we’re so fkn human, and that's the exact message I want to share??? and the "being human" part is so nuanced because we are divine powerful unique incredibly smart and limitless creatures, AND we're dilly dallying and fucking around along the way to remembering that. This one is so important to me because if you’ve followed me for a while, you might be familiar with my branding, what I share on social media, what I have shared in the past and I'll be so honest, it’s a lot of sunshine energy. It has always been. To make it extra cute that’s just always been who I am, if you ask anyone in my family I've just been a heart forward kinda gal forever so I move from there intentionally. And because of that, since I've been on social media I have gotten so many comments in the past asking if I ever have bad days, or if I ever get angry or whatever, and my response is always… ya babe I’m human just like you. I just don’t feel the need to document it because there’s enough low frequency energy broadcasted everywhere you look and my intention is to contribute to rather what empowers us. AND the second tier being, if you think that’s all my life is, sunshine and rainbows and good days only, then give your head a shake or touch grass. I absolutely experience every single range of emotion and feeling just as much as, actually probably more than the average person out there because I genuinely welcome it all now, but it’s not my responsibility to like, show you that?? Or explain that to you, or have to out myself just so that you feel seen?! You know!? And perhaps I've shared a tidbit or two of some of the things I've moved through but my GOSH there’s so much more to us than what you could ever even try to express on social media, even if you documented your entire life. Somebody actually a few months ago said to me “omg you don’t even have to work hard look at your body you’re in amazing shape anyway….” to which I replied babe I've been working out since I was 13 years old and navigated disordered eating and had to fully come back home to myself emotionally and physically to get where I am……and I still feel like a baby whale some days HAH. And they kinda fell silent for a minute and said oh fk I didn’t know that and it’s like ya no problem at all but fkn DUH YOU DIDN’T!? Hahahahahahha but was I offended that they said that or triggered or pissed? Not in the slightest because I understand that obviously when you don’t know someone’s story, how could you possibly imagine or assume how they got to who you see on the surface right now?!

But the thing is that we really don’t owe anybody that story!? And I suppose maybe it’s us being vulnerable and letting others see us so that we feel seen, perhaps that’s what feels good about it. I just want the nuanced part to be loud that the only person that really needs to fully see you is YOU my love. I’ve never felt the need to demonstrate the ways in which I navigate challenging moments or to share my failures and flops and misses to the general public just so you hear it from me, JUST in case you see or hear it from somewhere else….that way I get to control the narrative and you see me as messy as I want you to……OUF…

I’ll probably write about it later and maybe share my lived wisdom because I am devoted to supporting others through their own version and so I make THAT the mission, but explaining to the internet that you’re behind or you made a mistake and now you’re shaming yourself for it, that’s the part I want you to bring your power back into because absolutely duh you do these things. We stumble our way through the human experience and expand along the way, if you chose the path of expansion that is, so it’s absolutely inevitable that you take on not just the wins life has to offer, but also the contrast of that. And it’s incredibly human and so normal, and if you feel you need to explain that to the internet you might not have given yourself the space required to not give a fk that you’re where you are. I can’t help but wonder if this era of social media being so prevalent in our lives has made it that much of a slower process in coming back to ourselves because there’s SO much more we’re exposed to, and therefore comparing ourselves to out there, making us think we should be elsewhere or at a different point in our journey or in a different version of success…. Either way it’s still a place where you see tiny GLIMPSES of peoples lives and so to me it was just always obvious that we have so much more to us, so much more complexity and layers than what is shown, and so why don’t we just be IN it rather than explain it to people. Let yourself experience the highs and the lows and then turn it into art when you’ve moved through it because that’s where it lends a hand. And I can hear something asking me well, what if someone sharing their flops makes someone else feel seen because they’ve been shaming themselves for being in the same place? WELL babe you’re probably shaming yourself in the first place because you’re already comparing yourself to where you think you should be or what you could have done better because you’re contrasting your life to someone else’s ITS A CYCLE YOU SEE. Hahahhahahah so cute of us to get wrapped up in it all and TRUST me I’m not exempt from catching myself in it from time to time, but what I’ve taught myself is to check back in with my own soul and inner power to remind myself where I want to be and what I'm capable of… If I outsourced that to social media or someone else's life every time, I would be giving a whole lotta power to a lot of fluff that does or doesn't exist out there.. You can keep relying on the internet to validate you if you so desire but I will say this way is much more reliable and truly more powerful when you build that trust and connection with yourself. Maybe it’s baby steps idk I gotta stop being devils advocate literally nobody is saying anything this is just what it’s like in the brain of a deeply intuitive and curious and inquisitive sagittarius moon/virgo sun + mercury. Hahahahha I'm looking from all angles WHICH brings me back to the point of who am I writing these for becauuuuuuuuuse…… I am thinking back to a version of me that might have wanted to broadcast my flop list hahaha except if she wanted to she would have, but telling me I don't need to wouldn’t have maybe done much, if anything I’d wanna do it more, I challenge authority what can I say, but who this actually finds is a very specific version of me that exists right in the sweet spot of questioning whether “do I need to explain this to people so that they understand I’m a human?” or “hm maybe it’s not my responsibility to clarify that I am and I can go on about my day expressing what I create”..............because if she read this she woulda thought okay ya the second one sounds more effortless and and I don't give a fk if people think I’m perfect or messy, they will only ever interpret me from their level of self understanding and awareness and no amount of explaining or oversharing will ever be able to change the way they see you from their own lens!!! Good thing I just sit with these questions long enough to solidify my interpretation and let source give me the answers which lemme tell you has built up an incredible amount of patience over here… but then I give myself the stage to share with you so that if you’re looking for those answers also at a certain point in your journey, then these will find you. That’s my intention at least! 

So when you catch yourself thinking, wow that persons life is magic and bliss and so aesthetic and perfect, remind yourself that they’re also definitely experiencing all the contrast of that in between because anyone that comes to this cutie planet is here to live all the juicy parts of life that it has to offer…nobody is remiss. And then when you also find yourself in a space of wanting to over explain and make sure that people understand you and perceive you in a certain light and know that you also experience challenging moments…. Let go of that weight of responsibility and use the energy it gives you back to simply be with yourself as you navigate it. What a juicy trade no???? I would so much rather be as present as possible than be elsewhere trying to convince people I'm a human because I'm navigating whatever it may be….. I guess I'm just teaching people presence a lot of the time hahahahah in these tiny little shifts... Be WITH yourself at all times boo, it’s a pretty fab journey when you’re actually there for it. 

Love you thank you for being here so we can share it together!!

xx Sarah