harmony over extremes: healing the war between energies 🥀

Hola bebecitas!! You know what’s kind of weird, first of all is that it’s november 9th and I’m currently sitting on the patio of a cafe tapping into this space…. like is it just me or is it supposed to be way colder than 15 degrees right now? I know I live in vancouver and this is WHY, but it feels like we’re actually having a proper lengthy fall?? HOW REFRESHING! Meanwhile I am just remembering that literally this morning my mom called me from driving on the highway in ontario through a blizzard bahahahah welp I’m grateful. 

I’ve been navigating something quite cool this last week, that puts such a potently beautiful emphasis on the mind body soul connection and the way that if we’re willing to listen and learn — will always be guiding and leading you along your highest path. After spending the last handful of years getting really in tune and leaning into the mind and soul parts of this trinity, the last year has brought equal emphasis on really allowing myself to listen to my body and what it’s communicating to me from my soul. Diving more into yoga and studying how our physiology is ruled by our subconscious and continuously observing my own connection, I simply notice where tension, tightness, release or sensations are coming from energetically because no different than how our emotions communicate how we FEEL about things, your body is also always guiding you in that way. As someone that’s very sensitive and tapped into the collective energy, because I’ve become so conscious of my own, I tend to hold a lot of tension in my shoulders and neck when the surrounding energy is dense and sometimes it’s mine, sometimes it’s not but I’m also having fun learning how to discern that!!! Lately though it was quite intense and I couldn’t pin point where in my energy I might have been holding onto anything and it was just sore as fk, so I took myself for a massage at this really stunning place that I’d been to once before, and had such a cool experience because for a while I was going to an RMT that’s right below my building and it was great.. but this place is a space for a more vast range of healing.. there’s float tanks, sauna, massage, energy work etc so of course me being the kind of energetic being I AM, felt more called to return to someone specific. Literally that morning after I booked the session to work through my shoulder tension, I was talking to a friend about how I’m very aware of my lack of deep breathing and have known for like a year that I don’t expand my diaphragm enough and that I restrict it etc., and surely that’s showing up in my physiology and I knew something would be clocked for me to work with that energy and when I tell you this massage SHIFTED something so energetic in me…omg... It was a full body massage but for the entire hour this beautiful human made such a strong emphasis on breathing and continued to guide me with breath-work throughout it and it was so so interesting because while I was focusing on that, I energetically felt a really strong masculine energy come through… I was curious to know if it was him specifically because I don’t think I’ve ever been held in that space by a guy and when I was sharing this with him after he goes “I’m just holding the space and physically moving energy, whatever comes up is all you!” hahaha which being someone that holds space for healing more in the mind/soul arena I can absolutely appreciate that, nobody heals you but yourself, it’s always you doing the actual work and leaning in but that being said, I do think the facilitation is not to be remiss because this is where connection and collaboration play such an important role in our spiritual experience as humans!! We need relativity to experience ourselves and therefore make change, so it’s the duality being that I do honestly think his masculine presence was able to create a more supported space for me to lean into my own masculine energy because omg now that I’m saying this… when I went here the first time a month before, the gal that worked on me said that there’s a big tension point on the right side of my spine – which is masculine dominant 👀 versus the left side is our feminine 🫦….and so the way that that was evident but not worked through with her.. but was veryyyy worked through so with him is SUPER interesting??? Woah.. because for this entire session I did some serious breathing into that area and focused on it the rest of the night and I woke up the next morning with NO tension in my neck and shoulders it was so wild… and THEN for the following week I’ve been really consciously paying attention to my breath because if we know anything about me it’s that once something’s in my conscious awareness field, I’m leaning the fk in because I love a ledge to grow off!!!!! 🧙🏼‍♀️ And also I then started working on that spot in my back along the right side by laying on a dumbbell for a few mins twice a day to relax into it and release it and I’m not even joking you some of the energetic shifts that showed up for me were soooo obvious. I was more direct with my voice in a few areas that I had kept quiet in the past and I called in more structure in some aspects, my intuition got a lil sharper and physiologically I’ve been holding space for myself to breathe deeper and relax my body more throughout my days. It’s brought a sort of “I’ve got you babe” energy that I’ve obviously always had, that at some point was where I was predominantly leading from for so long.. trying to control and provide for myself without allowing space for the feminine to trust and intuitively guide etc…

This is a subtle but super potent shift that speaks so directly to the way our body holds onto everything and stores energy until we’re ready to release and trust in it and it's sooooooo fkn cool. I’ve shared this in other posts but me having my north node and chiron both in libra has been this juicy theme of balance and harmony within myself and while I think I’ll always be recalibrating and adjusting – since that’s what harmony is – it kind of feels like I’m at a very balanced and beautiful place of those energies shifting back and forth in a way that’s not nearly as extreme as it would have been in the past. Because the way we live in a world of duality and polarity is that we have and need both masculine and feminine energies because they each have such powerful aspects that complement and support one another in a shared dynamic. And it’s almost as if the world has been reflecting this back to me the way we’ve been waaaaay off balance over the years from the toxic display of masculine energy that’s been rooted in control and force and power, to where it feels like we’re falling into the other extreme of that where so many women are fed up and want men to fear us and be intimidated and say that we don’t need them when the reality is, that’s just putting an uno reverse on the dynamic that hasn’t worked very well so far so????? How do we harmonize 🥹 to balance these energies within ourselves and then with others because we truly need one another. I feel strongly that that is a truth – the balance where the masculine provides a structured and protected space for the feminine to surrender and lead intuitively and this doesn’t necessarily mean that men provide physically and materially only or that women only lead in the spiritual and energetic world, because while that is what feels natural biologically to us, the vision I foresee is that it’s simply shared. That they can take turns. That the energies each have their strengths and work from those spaces alongside one another, but are strong enough that they can exchange and support either way. Because what I’m learning about myself in this is that as I’m on my own, I need to be able to do that all for myself, and that when partnership shows up, I can naturally fall a little more into my feminine because that’s what effortless for us girlies… in the presence of a strong masculine. Whilst being able to then allow space for both of us to swap when needed and provide, protect, lead in both the energetic and physical world!! Wow what a trip I TOTALLY recognize that this is soooooo reflective of my own personal journey and that it might not be a truth for everyone out there but the whole point of creation is sharing your experience right.. I’m sure there’s a few other people out there that might share a similar view point hehehe I mean if you understand the universal law of duality and have a sense of what we humans are up to… this just makes sense ya??? 🤭

Anyway needless to say that massage changed my life LOL allowed me to sink way deeper into my physiology to release deeper energetic layers of self trust, power and all that jazz….and this is why I adore learning from or working with others in the somatic and body work world because while I have a pretty good grasp of it all, my strength definitely lies in the world of the mind and subconscious and soul language hehehehehe but they’re all synergistic and you don’t dive into one without going headfirst into all of them so I love learning 🥹🥹🥹

Since writing this the temp has dropped a few degrees and my latte has BEEN gone so I'm suddenly cold and gotta bounce ugh I love you so much for joining me in this space of learning and embodying wisdom and chat soon xoxoox 

xx Sarah