intimacy doesn't break you — it reveals you 🪞✨

Evening cutie pies! Perhaps it's not evening when you read this but you know I’m always writing from the current space I’m in, and right now I’m cozied up on my couch embracing (despising) the crisp (disgusting) fall weather 👼🏼 bahhaha no I really have come a long way from last year where my willingness to embody peace has VERY much dissolved the resistance in my energy in a lot of areas of my life of course, but this one is nice because I am just going with the fall flow....and being the solar witch I am, who worships the sun and all its warmth and spice.. fall and winter are just tough for me??? I’ve completely accepted that I simply prefer summer and it’s effortlessness over any other time of year however, I can be with the changing seasons because there’s beauty in all and well tbh, I live like 20 minutes from the airport so really how blessed am I.

Take this as my confidence in sharing how love and intimacy could never break me — but I did allow it to crack me wide open and reveal me 🫦 If you read my last post, it was potent and juicy and sharing it felt like it unlocked another layer of my becoming as I've shed SO much of what wasn’t ever me over the last year and a bit, and continue to sink into everything that is very much me. So with that I feel called to continue to share what I’ve taken away from that chapter because if I’m not here to share my learned wisdom then what the fk am I doing heheh 💌 that’s also encouragement to really lean into yourself and spend time fully in your own energy for as long as it takes to come back to your frequency after writing a chapter with someone else!! Using your energy to reflect, feel, integrate, BE with, and refine the relationship you have with yourself is some of the most potent work you’ll do because it sets the tone for any future relationships you’ll have with anyone in your life. And that’s not to say you can’t do all of that within your relationships anyway, please do and continue to always, but the more you know yourself on a deep intimate level the more resonant souls you attract into your circle! To avoid living a well examined life means repeating and staying stagnant in the same patterns as always and we honestly are not comfortable without change, as much as we’d like to think otherwise 😉

So okay, for someone who had definitely cultivated a lot of self awareness prior to this chapter, AND continues to do that daily therefore leaned into it with the commitment to growth, I’m on the other side with SO much beautiful and deep wisdom that can’t not be shared. One of the juiciest things that I healed and have integrated SO much of in the last year – with this person hence why they ran for the hills hehe and with everyone else closely in my corner – is the narrative I had that sharing and expressing how I felt would be met with anger and deflection and lack of accountability. I am definitely someone who has never shied away from conflict, except when it came to deep intimate relationships because that’s all I had experienced… I also had a narrative that if I shine my bold bright light and speak my truth people won’t want to be around me… and obviously I did the work to heal this but this wonderful soul had immense amounts of awareness as well so they catalysed and provided the safe space to do so by one time simply saying “I won’t ever be mad at your for sharing how you feel”..... That’s literally it. I’d never had a masculine presence provide that kind of emotional safety for me to look at that and sink into it. Because yes I speak my mind and communicate very well with others, but I recognized then that I for SURE demonstrated this in my last somewhat serious relationship (university loverbird babies lol!!!!) and then unconsciously carried that fear into this one. And here’s the beautiful thing about expanding your awareness and leaning into the journey of being a spiritual being in this human experience, is that you can’t make any change until the unconscious becomes conscious. Which is why I am so fkn passionate about this work because I have become a little emotional master that clocks this kind of stuff like it’s my day job (hahaha making it so!!!!) and alchemizing it so we can liberate from the perceived constraints we keep ourselves within. So by them reflecting that back to me and continuing to remind me to share how I was feeling because they’re not a mind reader.. I allowed myself to not only do that, but then invite them to do the same and when that was offered in the thick of a transition and pivotal time, it was met with resistance and hmmmm more left brain energy than I would have seen coming based on where they had challenged me 😅 because after quickly dissolving that limitation I kept on myself, I more freely expressed all the ways in which I am also someone that picks up on energy as soon as it shifts, or when what’s being shared isn’t in alignment with what’s being felt. I’ve always had a strong sense of this but went deep with it real fast to cultivate a whole other layer of self trust – in knowing that what I was feeling and sensing was accurate. So that is my second potent nugget of wisdom is, don’t fk around with an embodied woman because our intuition is always right if we’ve spent the time learning how to follow it hahahahha and I will never again question that beautiful intuition I have BUT !!! the time between where I recognized this logically with my mind, and when I actually got myself to a place to embody it FULLY with them and a few other people in my life, was a few months. Which tbh, I’m grateful for because embodying that and leaning into the process allowed me to build a beautiful framework that I share with clients so YAY for learning in the most potent experiences of high level nervous system regulation hehe. I raaaaaaan, dove, launched myself, so y’all could walk with grace through this kinda stuff 🤭there was actually a 4 month period earlier this year that I exercised my reclaimed power in being able to very clearly feel, name, own and act on this energy 3 different times that were pivotal for me. All with men. All of them who I adore. And only one of them able to receive the conversation and take accountability for their role… which we CLAP FOR! Because that’s how healthy relationships are formed, nurtured, and continue to evolve. As for those who chose not to take accountability, I love them no less, it honestly makes me wanna send them even more love because there’s a whole bunch of narratives there with the energy of low self worth, guilt and shame and obviously we all have our shit so surely you can relate to an extent, I know I can lol hence the sharing here… but plain and simple you can’t be honest with others if you’re not being honest with yourself so you either choose to stay comfortable in that energy – which is actually the most discomfort you’ll ever find yourself in LOL – or you stretch yourself and cultivate the willingness to look at how you play a role in your own suffering that never fails to trickle into your relationships of any kind 🥹💋 because I absolutely own the ways in which I was misaligned from my values by not recognizing my own inherent worth and value, and rather very subtly collapsed it with something I desired so deeply with someone else... it just woke me up to realizing I had to remember it within my own self first.

It's not that love makes us fragile — it's actually our most powerful strength that shows us where we're still protecting ourselves.

So anywho, a few potent nuggets for you to take or toss, I don’t care (I do).. and like I’m sure I’ve said 100 times already, I’m wildly grateful for every tiny piece of this chapter that I continue to learn from, the person that played such a huge role in guiding me back home to myself even if they didn’t wanna match my FREAK….freq!!! (frequency), and my own willingness and sovereignty to stay consistently rooted in enough self trust to know that even when the universe hands you a plot twist that’s not necessarily your preference, it’s just redirection!! Omg actually I saw a quote the other day that said “the goal is to be so trusting that even the reroutes feel aligned” and I was like yep hi BEEN in that energy for years now. And I’m also grateful for the ways in which I consistently invest energy into building on my intuition, empowered empathy, psychic gifts and self trust because to have the level of discernment that has me EXCITED to be able to explore it and integrate it into partnerships is so cute of me bahahaha obviously I practice it daily in every area of my life but knowing that intimate relationships and partnership are the greatest container for growth – we literally came here to live in duality and cannot fully experience ourselves without relativity – I know it will be so fun to do that with someone regularly that shares a similar perspective and willingness as me! So here's to letting intimacy be your mirror — not the kind that distorts, but the one that shows you the wholeness that's always been there. Keep revealing!!!

The reason I adore this work so much and being a guide or space holder for others is because as someone that continuously puts herself in situations where my ego goes “we’re not safe here babe”, it gets quieter each time and my soul feels safe to fully express and create from a place of divine alignment and there isn’t much I’m not willing to do these days where my fear stops me from doing it. Not to say I don't feel fear, hi I’m human (read as: angel), I just go all in anyway because not only do I refuse to get to the end of my life wishing I had done the things, I don’t even wanna wake up tomorrow wondering “what if I had explored that thing…” and that brings a LOT of feeling, a lot of challenge, a lot of stretching your capacity, but it also means you’re always coming back from those to reside in your home frequency of abundance, inherent worth, unconditional love and creativity. Which we all deserve to live from so please don’t hesitate to reach out, book a session or ask questions about what this work looks like because I’d be honoured to work with your beautiful curious soul!!! You can come chill in my sexy soul lounge with me hehehe

xx Sarah